observations

In observing parents interacting with their kids I have noticed two different catagories. The first is parents who have the kids do stuff for themselves. The other is when the parents are working for the kids.

I was in the store and saw a family and the girl wanted to get a drink (she was probably 4 or 5), the mom told her it was ok for her to walk over to the cooler and get one, but she had to get water or juice. The girl came back with a coke and the mom said that she said in a quite tone of voice that she had to take it back and get water, juice, or nothing.

Compare that to a parent that has no control over there kids. Again in the store this kid was screaming his head off running away from the parent. The parent was threatening and yelling at the kid to behave. This obviously had no affect seeing as how when i left the store 30 min later you could still hear both her and the kid, and they were in the back of the store. It seems that quite confidence is much better over "brute force." I also imagine that it started a long time before with both groups and the parent taught the kid how to treat them, one with respect the other without.